Liberation Day

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

-Abraham Lincoln

It is almost the end of June. What a wonderful half of a year. The Dutch celebrated their 65th Liberation Day the same day my husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary last month. It was a extra special day for us since it was also the day that signified the fact that I had been married to him longer than I'd been single and the fact that he knew me longer than half of his life. He dedicated Shania Twain’s “You are still the one” that was rendered by dopey-eyed Lee Dewyze of American Idol. I reciprocated with Beyonce’s “Sweet Dreams.”

While the Dutch took their parade to the streets, we pretty much stayed indoors until it was time to replenish the energy. Boy, did we replenish. Nasi Kampung buffet for lunch and Big Apple Doughnuts and black coffee for desserts. Then, with mocha-swirl ice-cream in each hand, we headed to Maxis counter. Switching from Digi to Maxis was easily done. And with that switch, we were on our way to saving some RM30 a month on cellphone bill.

Since Jusco wasn’t as hectic as it would be during the weekend, we decided to explore every floor there - a feat that couldn’t be justified on any other day. There was a big on-going promotion/ launching of Siti Nurhaliza’s SimplySiti products. I tried some, and I bought some – mainly because they smell fabulous. Next to the area, was a promotion of lacy lingerie. I couldn’t try them there, but I bought some any way – mainly because he said I look fabulous in them. Then we strolled hand-in-hand (the ice-cream has gone by now) to MPH bookstore. Husband bought some work-related books while I mentally visualize the stack of books my son bought for me, of which the pages haven’t seen the light of day yet. Before heading home, we stopped to buy a tiramisu cake at Secret Recipe Outlet, something for the kids. We arrived home just in time to fetch the kids from their Wednesday co-curricular activities. Family (minus the one in college) dinner was at the nearby Tom Yam Restaurant. When the clock struck at midnight, I was a happy woman sleeping next to my sated man.

It wasn’t always this way.

For twenty years, my married life had been in a constant turmoil. Work responsibility clashed with personal duty. Anniversaries were especially difficult for me to handle. While many of my women friends’ husbands neglected to even wish their wives on their special day (memory lapse for being married too long?) , mine offered to take a day off, weeks in advance, if the anniversary happened to fall on a work day. And I always said no. What good would it do if he took a day off while I am at work? May was (still is) always a hectic month in schools. There were that panel meetings to prepare, co-curricular activities to coordinate, special rooms to be decorated in the anticipation of the yearly inspection by the higher up, reports of last month’s students’ attendance and performance to be sent to PPD, teachers’ evaluation report that is due before the semester ended and of course, mid-year exam papers to be formulated, checked and endorsed. There was also that Teachers’ Day Ceremony preparation looming in the horizon.

It didn’t get any better if the anniversary fell on a Saturday. Because every Saturday in May was either a co-curricular activities day for the students (teachers had to be there too) or a Latihan Dalam Perkhidmatan (LDP) Day for teachers (I had to be there since I was the Secretary). It didn’t make much difference if it fell on a Sunday either, because after 6 straight days of working, there just wasn’t much energy left in me to make breakfast, let alone go out for a little getaway to commemorate our special day. Even if we could barricade ourselves in our room, it is hard to get in the mood, with Sunday cartoon (read Spongebob) blasting from the TV downstairs. And, when the clock struck at midnight, neither one of us cared.

Anniversaries, no matter what day it falls on, need be celebrated by being together mentally, spiritually and physically. My husband understands this earlier than I do, and better than any man I know. He puts our anniversary date on the license plate of our family car and on both of our cellphone numbers ( that’s why it is worth mentioning the fact that we change our phone operator on our anniversary day). I know I am not supposed to know (or tell you) this, but he uses the date as passwords and pin numbers in various accounts, including sensitive investment accounts.

I am glad he never stops offering to take the day off just for the two of us. I am glad I have spent the whole day of May 5th this year with the man who is willing to move the earth for me. I am glad I have spent more than half of my life being his wife. All this is made possible because on our anniversary this year I was a full-time wife.

Sanity Preserved

This is my way of staying sane.. and hopefully healthy .

I read in yesterday’s paper that Dr Mahathir is 85 year old young because he exercises his mind through reading and writing. I am going to be 40 in two weeks’ time and I guess reading has always been more of a reward to me than simply a chore. Now writing to me is messy, such a hassle and too time consuming. When you have 6 kids, the only time it is natural to have a pen and a paper in your hands is when making a grocery list.

Reading about Dr Mahathir has stricken a chord some where in my brain. Ahh.. my brain.. haven’t been using that part of me for quite some time. That is not to say that taking care of 6 kids (5 still at home) is easy, but if any thing it is mind-numbing, in a big way. I salute the home makers who take care of their families, day in and day out, in complete sanity, never complaining, never expecting much in return for their sacrifice and martyrdom, and never giving in to the temptation and the lure of successful career outside home. If you are one of those rare gems, drop me a line. I want to personally hug you (and share some of my burden with you). The power that be should erect a statue of you and put it on the highest pedestal.

You’d have to be the sincerest person alive to be able to take on a responsibility such as that of raising kids, managing the household chores, groceries shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, making sure the kids and husband have matching clean socks to wear, making sure the kids do their homework, making sure the kids have enough tools and accessories to do the homework, switching off the TV when the kids are supposed to do the homework, sending and fetching the kids from school and extra lessons around town, sorting the mail, sorting the clothing, breastfeeding the baby and still smiling when the husband and kids come home from the office/ school. I would love to be that rare gem.. the one that can do it all.. no maid.. no complaining.. without resorting to the “sorry Honey, I got headache tonight” routine .. I am hoping by writing I can get some of my sanity back and stop driving my dear husband up the wall too often. I am still keeping my once-a-week cleaning lady as a back-up but I am determined to make full-time home maker my yet another successful career.

So here I am, trying to transform the mess in my head into coherent thoughts that are fit to be written. I have been putting off writing because honestly, I don’t know what to write, or rather what’s worth to write. I asked my dear husband of 20 years what I should write and he, without batting his eyes, said nutrition. It goes to show you that in his head, wife and food are always in close proximity. You’ll think of one, you’ll think of the other. You crave for one and you can get satisfied by the other. That’s what I get for being his cook all these years.

Seriously, I am not going to write about nutrition. Food .. maybe, but nutrition.. no. Does anyone know anything about nutrition nowadays? One expert says one thing today, only to be challenged by another next week. Take coffee for example, I’ve been trying to quit my java habit for years now, because the experts are (were?) in the opinion that coffee is bad for women in their childbearing years. Coffee, or rather caffeine, they said, inhibits our body’s ability to absorb and utilize calcium. And together with oxalate and unused calcium, caffeine forms tiny crystals that lodge themselves in kidneys thus forming kidney stones. And just when I finally able to quit my addiction to coffee, Ms Maya Karin comes on billboards across the country and says coffee can actually make my skin prettier. Go figure. Really Maya? Is that the reason behind your great skin and hot figure? I am sure I have been drinking coffee a lot longer than Maya, but how come all I get are fine lines (not so fine, actually) and saggy figure? Needless to say, I am back drinking coffee, full force, Maya Karin’s brand of choice.

Now what’s the deal about fat? We were told to limit fat intake to no more that 20% daily in order to protect our heart. Now the experts are saying, reducing fat in our food is not only unhealthy, it can also make us lose some protection against certain cancer. In other words, which would you choose, cancer or cardiovascular disease? And protein.. Dr Atkin (bless his soul) wanted us to eat more of it but Harvey Diamond (Fit for life series) is adamantly opposed to it and now Dr Sears has come up with The Zone. I guess that’s good progress, but it’s not making our life any easier. What about carb? It used to be just simple and complex carb, now there are good carb and bad carb, low GI carb and high GI carb. As if that’s not complicated enough.. you’ll have to think about the GL of the carb you are eating. Even the Food Pyramid that we used to study in school is being challenged. I guess if Pluto can be stripped off its title as a planet, food pyramid can be tossed aside too. Speaking of titles being stripped, even celebrated datuks are fair game these days.

Blogging for the first time has made me two hours late for my lunch. And I am not hungry yet. I didn’t snack while blogging. And I even manage to nurse my 5-month old baby successfully, while I type using one finger at a time. At this rate, I might actually be able to shed my excess kg. I’ll count that as the blogging benefit. Now, if only I can decide what to write in my blog…