Dayana's 10th Birthday

Happy Birthday Dear Dayana..

Dayana is our 3rd photographer in the family - comes after Daddy and Kushairy.  She likes to take pictures of everything in everywhere. That should explain the difficulty to post her pictures here.

Our petite Dayana was born on Friday morning, Sept 29, '00, just as my mother and little sister were boarding the flight leaving KL.  There was no way of contacting them, so imagine their surprise when they finally reach our Chandler residence, on the night of 30th Sept, to find baby Dayana, our 2nd US citizen, sleeping in her cot, a full 2 weeks before her due date.

Now 10 years old, optimistic Dayana is almost always without fail the first one to offer to carry Ryan whenever possible.  In the recent exam, she managed to obtained 4As and a 100% in Bahasa Arab which put her 4th in class.  Khatam Qur'an this year and now reads Qur'an with Sarah and Iman.  She studies and practices piano diligently, been elected a prefect since in 3rd grade, and selected as Tokoh Nilam in school.

Someday.. when she is older, I do hope that, when she reads this, she can feel the enormous love and admiration I have for her..

Full week

Finally, a full week of teaching is over.  I am easing back to my pre-Ryan routine of doing grocery-shopping during Friday prayer, just before picking up kids from their transit home, and then Ryan from his Pengasuh's. I managed to stop and visit my friend Daizura, who just delivered her 7th son through emergency c-section procedure (gory details spared).  She looked glowing, and already asking about matters in school.  Even with 8 children (1 daughter), she is eager to come back to teach and is worried about her students' preparation to face SPM.  A true teacher.. body, mind and soul..

After 15 years of teaching, I guess I can say that I'm resigned to whatever time-table that the admin dish out to me. I used to protest and grumble (sometimes loudly, mostly silently and cowardly) when they give me subjects which are not my option to teach.  This week has been a real test.  My T&L schedule includes classes in Form 1, 3,4,5, Lower and Upper 6, with 6 different subjects to teach.  This has got to be my most 'caca marba' time table I've received in my entire life as a schoolteacher. And I've never been more spirited to march into the classes.  Form 1KAA was the most welcoming.  These 13-year-olds are quite easy to approach.  But class 4K1 proves to be the most challenging.  I literally had to climb the desk to get their attention.  Fortunately I am limber enough to get down, when the bell finally rang.

I can definitely say that I am in the right profession now.  I hope I can teach till the day I die, or until they force me into retirement.. whichever comes first.

21st Hijriah Anniversary

10 Syawal 1431

10.10.10 - 10.10.31 

21 short years..

Daddy put this song on my FB wall at 10.22 am, 30th August 2010.  So I am claiming this to be our song till the end of time.. or for the rest of our lives.. or until Daddy dedicates another super romantic song.. (I'm not holding my breath). 

I love you too Dear.. and I'm still waiting for you to serenade it personally to me.  Don't bother to deny it.. I know you've been practicing.

For the rest of our lives..

I praise Allah for sending me you my love

You found me home and sail with me

And I`m here with you

Now let me let you know

You`ve opened my heart

I was always thinking that love was wrong

But everything was changed when you came along

And there's a couple words I want to say

Chorus:

For the rest of my life

I`ll be with you

I`ll stay by your side honest and true

Till the end of my time

I`ll be loving you... loving you

For the rest of my life

Through days and night

I`ll thank Allah for opening my eyes

Now and forever I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart

I feel so blessed when I think of you

And I ask Allah to bless all we do

You`re my wife/bff and my friend and my strength

And I pray we`re together eternally

Now I find myself so strong

Everything changed when you came along

And there's a couple word I want to say

*Repeat Chorus

I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here

Infront of me I strongly feel love

And I have no doubt

And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally

Repeat Chorus

I know that deep in my heart..

I'zzah 7th Birthday

Happy Birthday I'zzah..

Raya Eve 1431

My nasi impit is cooling on the kitchen counter.  Finally, finished cooking for raya.  There's takbir on channel 106, very soothing.  Ryan is falling asleep in my lap.  I just performed Isya' with I'zzah.  The rest of the kids are with Daddy.  Daddy is not back from the mosque yet.  I'm hoping to perform witr and takbir with Daddy.

I have been up since 4:10 am.  My Raya prep started after subuh prayer, by going to Pasar Borong and Pasar Tani with Daddy and Ryan. Bought the necessary stuff to cook beef rendang kunyit, kuah kacang, acar rampai, and nasi biryani for tomorrow.  This is in addition to what my mom's preparing, soto and bihun sup.  Lemang has been pre-ordered.  Rendang tok, ketupat, acar buah and serunding has been bought, ready-made. For our last iftar of the year we had sup tulang, fresh salad and pecal.  Today's kuih is cucur sayur - taugeh, bawang and kucai mixed together in smooth batter- at Daddy's request.  Today's fruits are guava and water apples with kuah rojak. Except for the nap I took before Zohor, I have been cooking nonstop since coming home from the pasar.

I am very happy that we managed to avoid going to Pasar Ramadhan again this year.  It is the second year in the row now.  We kept away from Pasar Ramadhan last year because of the H1N1 scare and my pregnancy.  It was hard at first but it gets easier this year, especially since I only work for 3 short days this Ramadhan.  Home-cooked meals are definitely the best, according to Daddy and the kids.  The kids help with the dishes and setting up the table.  Daddy helps by sitting close enough to the kitchen, chatting me up.

Today Daddy 'helps' while burning CDs of the antics of the kids some 10 years ago.  Daddy was editing the videos taken when I was pregnant  with Dayana in Chandler, Arizona.  Kushairy and Sarah were still chubby then, and Iman was learning to make sentences.  My mom looked so young in the video, but I looked old and tired, despite being only 30.  Having babies back to back really took a toll on me.  I love watching the video taken at the hospital, after the delivery.  At least then, I looked glowing. Fifteen-month old Iman couldn't get enough of her new baby sister, Dayana.  Sarah was talking nonstop.  Kushairy was trying his best to be a mature brother to his 3 little sisters.

My nasi impit is already cooled.  All set for Eid Mubarak.

To Forgive.. or Not

How do you forgive someone who does not apologize?
How do you heal your heart which is stabbed at the same spot over and over again?
How do you reproach a person who thinks he/she is faultless?
How do you stop questioning your own self-worth?
How do you go on living, knowing what you know?
How do you mend the pieces of your love?
How do you mask a broken heart?
How do you stop a bleeding soul?
How do you guard a fragile mind?
How do you bury history?

You leave it to Allah, that's how.  Bare your soul, and give your heart to Him.  Clear your mind, and pour your tears in front of Him.  Put your faith in Him and trust that nothing escapes His attention.  Let Him take you.  Let Him console and forgive you.

The hurt that you endure is nothing compared to the joy you have received..

You don't have to forgive.. You don't have to win either..

Happy to have a job

It has been two days on the job. I haven't received my official time table yet. My PK said I would definitely be getting some of my Form Upper Six classes back. My chance of getting the Lower Six classes is dim, since they have been snapped up. I might have to teach some Science in SPM level too.

It felt great to be wished "Assalamualaikum Cikgu" again.  Some students were generous enough to add the wish with, "Aaaiiihh.. cikgu dah slim!!."  A tip to get noticed: get huge when pregnant, the bigger the better, then lose the whole 15kg during 8 months in hibernation. Show up the first day wearing new outfit and a positive attitude - you'll definitely turn people's heads around.

I was home by 2:15 on Sept 1 and 1:40 pm today. Not too shabby, I guess. The school is still following Ramadhan time table - finish early to make way for the afternoon session, so that they in turn can get home early for iftar. I would have come home sooner too yesterday, except I had to stop at the bank to deposit the school cooperative cheque. My position as the co-op Treasurer, a post I've held since the last 8 years, has been reinstated, effective immediately.

Ryan has been eating well and drinking milk from bottle without much fuss, according to the Nanny, who is a relative from my mom's side. I am secretly wishing that Ryan will pick up Banjar as his third language soon.. not a secret anymore, now that I've written it down here. The Nanny's house is 2 streets away from my parents' house. Just another great excuse for me to lepak at mom and abah's house on a regular basis. Plus I can always call up Abah to pick up Ryan if I ever get held up at school.

Tomorrow will be the last day of school before a full 2-week break for Eid and my son is coming home from college. Have I told you before, that my life is great?