4D3N

I was exhausted.  My children at home tried to make things easy for me.  But my children in school are just the opposite.  Only a handful turned in their CNY break homework; none met my expectation.  I was tired beyond words.  I needed to rest.  I wished for a break; and I got it. In the form of 4D3N in KPJ Ipoh Specialist Hospital.

I thought my life was going to end right there at the Emergency Room.  The room was spinning and I could barely see the back of my hand.  The doctors (there were 2, I think) asked for some basic information, but I could barely open my mouth without throwing up.  I was given a jab that was supposed to help with the barfing.  I prayed for the the room to just stop spinning, so that I can see Daddy and feel his grip.  I heard him ask for a single room for me to stay in.  No such luck.  It was Maulidur Rasul ( Tuesday, Feb 15, 2011), and we were told that the hospital was always full to the brim whenever there was a public holiday.

Once 'stabilized', I was wheeled to the room in Ward 232.  The were two other occupied beds. Daddy came up shortly after filling out the necessary registration forms at the lobby. And the rest of the day was blurr.

At 8.30, on Wednesday morning, my eldest cheered me up with a call.  He was about to sit for his Arabic Language Final exam and asked for me to pray for him.  He promised to call me back at 11, once he was done with the paper, but he called Daddy instead, and informed us that he was going to enter MASUM, bearing his Tae Kwan Do belt.  Could I be any more prouder?

My Mom and children came by that afternoon. The room was still spinning and I was the unfortunate axle.  Doc Hj Zakaria came with a pleasant smile and good news.  My MRI scan was sparkling clean.  He identified the cause of my imbalance.  An infection in the vestibular area. The bad news is it would take 7-10 days for my system to flush out the dizzy spells.

I could finally stand and walk around the room by midday Thursday.  Met and greeted my bed neighbors.  To my right was a 60-y-o widow who just had a surgery due to colon cancer.  Her two teenaged children took turns siting by her 24-hrs a day. I didn't talk directly to her since she was still heavily sedated and could hardly lift her eyelids.

Next to her was a 47-y-o Ustazah who had been having chest pain and shortness of breath.  An angiogram test was done.  She checked out that day, and was due back soon.  Her bed was soon taken up by a 44-y-o primary school teacher from Lekir who just found out about the malignant tumor in her  left breast 11 days ago.  She just had a complete masectomy.  I talked to her on Friday morning, almost 12 hours after the surgery.  Considering her condition, she was quite chirpy when she said, " Allah bagi pinjam (breast) kat kak kejap je.. lepaih tu dia ambik lah sikit-sikit.. setengah orang, tak sampai 44 tahun pun Allah dah ambik semua kan?"

Ya Rabbi.. I get it..

As I am closing this blog entry, I can hear the Dolls singing, "be careful of what you wish for.. coz you just might get it."

Our second Hajj, insya Allah

I went to Tabung Haji this morning, while Ryan was taking his morning nap.  I have been postponing this trip like forever, although TH is only 5-minute drive away.  Someone in school told me you can only register for 2nd-time Hajj 9 years after your first, so that's one of the reasons of my dally-dallying. The fact is only 5-year wait is needed - as told by the TH officer this morning.

Daddy went to TH alone to register for our first Hajj, back in Kulim in 1999.  Iman was 1-month-old at the time.  We were scheduled for Hajj in 2008.  Perfect, we thought, Kushairy would have finished his SPM by then, and would be old enough to look after the little ones.

But Allah had a better-than-perfect plan.  Our first Hajj was in Jan 2003.  We had to leave our youngest, 2y3m-old Dayana and 3y7m-old Iman with Bibik Asniar at my Mom's in Ipoh, 7-y-o Sarah in Pandan Indah with my lil sis Noi (Noi was a year-1 teacher Seri Bintang Utara at the time and Sarah was starting year 1) and UPSR candidate Kushairy with our good neighbor in Kulim.  Leaving the kids scattered here and there for 45 day was almost unbearable.

 While waiting for my turn at TH just now, my mind was twirling and thinking of the people I would have to approach to help me with the kids, especially Ryan, when we are in Mecca.

And guess what.. this time we are scheduled to go for Hajj in 2037.  Hmm.. I guess I didn't have to worry about the babysitting arrangements after all.. Ryan will be 27 by then.

I texted Daddy to tell him of our 'luck'.  Daddy texted back, "And I'll be a 70- year old man! .. and you'll be a sexy 68- year old lady..."

Funny eh.. here I am, being so wrapped up about my children's wellbeing, forgetting that in 26 years' time I might not have what it takes to make that trip.  Daddy's text, though sounded playful, is a serious reminder that I should consider ourselves to be very lucky if we could ever set foot in Holy Mecca/ Medina again.