What's in the name? Plenty.

I read my son's blog. He wonders why his name has no meaning. He wants to know why his name is spelled that way.

Son,

I've told this story numerous times when you were in my arms in that tiny one-bedroom apartment, 110 East Fourth Street, Bethlehem, PA 18015. It was a bedtime story that I recited again and again when we were alone in the room and Daddy was working late in Packard Lab, finishing his Master's thesis.

May be you have forgotten. So here it is again.

When I found out that I was pregnant with you, I freaked out. Major freaking out. So my ever-so-cool bff (aka your dad) mail-ordered a bunch of tapes from Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) to calm me down. Daddy made me stop listening to Jon Bon Jovi, Joan Jett, Guns n Roses on my boom box, and had me listen to these dakwah tapes instead. Listening to the tapes worked, I finally calmed down a little, and it restored my faith. I started reading more on Islam. One of the ulama' I listened to/ read went by the name Al-Qushayri. I didn't like the letter Q because it's too Arabic; and I like a y at the end of a name - kind of like mine. Daddy wanted to use Tok Ayah's name; hence Muhammad Kushairy. You see son, it is not without meaning. In fact I like the ending -ry so much that we've used it again on Ryan - which by the way, means " little king/ nobleman/ symbol of bravery in Irish. No, it has nothing to do with how cute I think Seacrest is.

I know what you are thinking now. Why did I freak out? Isn't that what married people supposed to do - have a baby? I was a sophomore, Ivy League Petronas-sponsored chemical engineering major and had no business getting pregnant. Daddy was graduating in winter that year - 2 months before you were due. I was fine with the idea of living without Daddy, finishing my studies in the US, while Daddy would return home to Malaysia, get a job, buy me a big house, a cute car and wait faithfully for me to graduate before having lots of babies. That was Daddy's bright idea at the time we got married. But you came early. Living alone, as a single mother, at 20, million of miles away from Daddy scared me. So now you understand why I roll my eyes every time Daddy has one of his "bright ideas", don't you?

So you see son, you are the main reason Daddy enrolled in Master's program. Daddy was Ok with leaving me for a while, but he couldn't bear leaving me with a child to take care. Fortunately, Daddy was a regular 4-flatter, so he didn't have any problem getting a scholarship from Lehigh University to pursue his second degree. His earlier sponsor, JPA too, offered a scholarship, but he chose LU scholarship. See son, good guys get to choose..

It was very difficult for us to adjust our life with your arrival. But if we had to do it all over again, we wouldn't change a thing. I'd choose Daddy again and I know Daddy would still choose me (great choice!). And together, we would still choose the exact same name for you.